Just the simple presence of her in my thoughts was enough to send me into a roiling climax; and then, with the reliability of an incoming tide, the wash of guilt and regret. Looking back it’s hard to believe how nasty and bad I felt about this behavior, the shame enough to make me shroud my face with the sheet. “You can give the driving another try today,” Francesca said as we strolled along the sparsely peopled beach. It was my third day there and she’d driven us up to Caladesi, an island just north of Clearwater. It was a neat place, accessed exclusively by ferry and part of a federal wildlife preserve. There were no buildings on it other than the ranger station and visitors center; just dunes and acres of pristine white sand. “This is so nice,” I said, watching as the waves creamed ashore. “It is, isn’t it,” Francesca said, halting at a spot several yards from the water and setting down our stuff. “Don’t be afraid of trying it again.” “I can’t drive a stick shift,” I answered.. Everyone was excited, but me. I didn't know what to expect, fearing that they would not like me. I didn't know at the time, Jan already wrote them about me, sent a picture, and found out later, they were as excited to see me, as their family was to see them.The kids spotted them first coming off the plane."There they are, there they are".Nick and Jan got so excited, it was almost a year since they seen them. Now I had seen some pictures of them, and seen the family resemblance when they were younger, but walking towards us seem like the duplicate twins of Nick and Jan. When they got closer I felt their eyes on me, but they ran to their family and all started to hug each other.I really felt alone and out of place, standing back as they welcome them.Then, to my surprise, Lisa said "Nicole come here."I didn't even know that she knew my name. She then stated, "nice to meet you."I extended my hand, but she didn't take it. Her arms raised and she started to hug me, and kissed me on the.
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